I’m a whore-you’re a whore,
Uncle Milty’s dead and so is Dudley Moore
Billy Wilder hung on ‘til he was 94,
I guess there ain’t no room left for cheap, old whores

I’m a whore-you’re a whore,
My sugar daddy says I’m rotten to the core
I cake on my makeup like Gza Gza Gabor,
Nothin’ looks sweeter than a cheap, old whore

I’m a whore-you’re a whore,
I thought “Pretty Woman” was a motherfuckin’ bore
I come home every night with every muscle sore,
I’m a true-blue, hardworkin’ old whore

Sooner or later, sooner or later
Sooner or later, sooner or later
Cheap, old whores

I’m a whore-you’re a whore,
I buy my evenin’ wear from the local thrift store
Everything I love is from 1964,
It’s hard to be picky when you’re a whore

I’m a whore-you’re a whore,
I’m what they build cheap hotels for
When times get tough, I do a little hardcore,
There ain’t no “Boogie Nights” for cheap, old whores

Sooner or later, sooner or later
Sooner or later, sooner or later
Cheap, old whores

I’m a whore-you’re a whore,
I roll my own smokes and sip cherry liquor
My body was molded outta iron ore,
Nothin’s built finer than a cheap, old whore

I’m a whore-you’re a whore,
I got 32 grand stashed under my floor
One day I’ll be gone and you won’t see me no more,
You’ll have to find yourself a new cheap, old whore

Sooner or later, sooner or later
Sooner or later, sooner or later
Cheap, old whores