I got run outta Poland by a cold-hearted bitch
So I headed East about as far as I could get
On the shores of Formosa those rains came down
As a Canadian cunt gave me the run-around
‘Bout that time I didn’t think things could get any worse
Then I was introduced to the Hualien Curse

I’ll spare you the details of the scene of the crime
Let’s just say that it was no fault of mine
They laid me out in a hospital bed 
Put some steel in my foot and despair in my head
Confused by the grammar of my Taiwanese nurse
What did I do to deserve the Hualien Curse?

But not all was lost-I’d soon learn
In the darkest situations the fire of love still burns
Three months went by like a soft, summer breeze 
In the arms of my baby with my punk rock cds
All seemed so right in this great wide universe
I’d all but forgotten that old Hualien Curse

Yes it felt so nice to come back to my home on Nanking
With a case of Stella Artois and a brand new jade ring
I went back up to the gorge to tempt my fate
And woke up with a fever and the pocks on my face
It’s a shame I didn’t learn my lesson from the first
I’d been struck down two times by the Hualien Curse

So take my advice people, hear what I say
Don’t you go out to Hualien-just stay away
Try Kenting or Tainan or the hills of Chiufen
Don’t you be a fool, and don’t you do what I’ve done
I’ve been lucky to avoid a ride in the back of a hearse
It ain’t too smart to toy with that old Hualien Curse